Yada Yada Yada

Capturing Cape May

Trying for one of those alliteration type titles like Harry's Hurricane or Charlie's Chips that are so very reminiscent of many many restaurants, bars and stores here in Cape May, NJ.  EXIT ZERO BABY!  The furthest southern point of the state -- beautiful sunsets and gorgeous beaches abound here and we are lucky enough to be spending a whole week here.

We are having the most awesome beach weather so far this week.  We are here from Saturday to Saturday and everyday has been perfect.  Not to humid and lots of blue skies and warm temps.  We are riding our bikes to the beach everyday and spending hours right at the waters edge -- or as close to it as you can get without having your chair sink down into the sand with the tides help.  The kids are having a ball -- Daniel is in the water all day, Stephen is in and out of the water with some breaks to play with Margaret in the sand and to read his book or listen to David Sederis on my Ipod.  Margaret will only go into the water with either Daddy or I and then we just stand ankle deep and let our feet get buried in the sand.

Margaret has been so very excited to come to CAPE MAY even though she had no idea what it was.  We have been telling her for a few weeks that we were going and she was just excited to be going anywhere -- the girl is a dirty stay out.  She will go anywhere you take her to just as long as it is not the 'blue house' which is our home.  On the way here she told us 'I smell Cape May' and I am sure Cape May has a smell, perhaps the smell of suntan lotion and fish, but we were much to far away for even those lovely scents to be filling her nose.

Daniel fell within the first few hours we were here.  He took a header over his handlebars on his bike and is still limping three days later.  He has the worse black and blues that I have ever seen and his cuts are huge on his knee and elbow.  The poor boy got a bad sunburn on his neck as well - so really we cannot touch the kid anywhere on his body without him being in pain.  He is so stinking cute in the water though -- all you see all day is his head bobbing in and out over the waves.  He hardly comes out and that is how he got such a bad sunburn -- now we are forcing him to come out and get a reapplication of sunblock.

Stephen is being so helpful and grown up.  I don't know if he is just realizing how much easier life is if we work as a team here or if he just wants some extra quarters for the arcade.  Anyway -- I will take it.  He is being so helpful with Margaret and carrying stuff down to the beach and back.  He loves playing with Margaret and will fetch her buckets of water or dig holes for her or help her bury my feet.  He will keep his eye on when I ask him too and is always, always making sure she is safe and sound.

Daddy and I are having fun too.  We are getting alone very well so far (knock wood) and really working great together.  Usually we work separate of each other to accomplish almost the same tasks and we always get into arguments or at the very least steam quietly at each other.  We got to stand arm in arm together tonight and watch the water and the sun going down over the horizon.  We laughed and joked and kissed!  Imagine that!   The kids were all busy eating chips in the beach chairs to be bothered with us.  He is listening to the Yankee Game in the car while I am inside typing this and 'watching' Indian Jones with the boys (Margaret is asleep). 

So I must get back to my vacation.  Big things are happening when we get home and I want to enjoy every minute here in fantasy land.

You can't play fetch with a goldfish

Yup, it's true.  If you throw a ball to one, it will just make a splash and then float on the top.  The fish will hardly glance at it and just keep swimming.  I realized this while watching Harold and the Purple Crayon this morning and for some reason this fact seems so profound to me. 

Lack of sleep?  Possibly.  Gone completely bonkers? Maybe.  Too much children's programming? Definitely.   I guess after 10 plus years of Blues Clues, Veggie Tales and many other assorted programs my mind has developed the keen ability to gleam deep and life changing metaphors from between the animation and alphabets. 

I did miss portions of this particular Harold episode because the only reason I was up at all and watching it because my darling daughter woke me up with her orders "I want you to lay out my blankies, make me a baba, put on HBO on Demand and stay up with me."  And she added "Do that lots and lots of days.  OK, Mommy?"  So I was pretending to watch it with my eyes half closed and would only open my eyes all the way when Margaret pointed out something to me, so my retelling of the story line might be off.

The gist is that Harold draws a castle and a dog and then the dog messes up the castle so he draws a fish in a bowl.  He throws his ball to the fish and it just plops and the fish keeps swimming with nary a glance at the ball.  Harold frowns and I guess draws something else with his purple crayon but I dozed closed my eyes half way again with the image of the ball in the fishbowl behind my eyelids and my brain was drawing all sorts of parallels between the goldfish and life.

If my kids are mad that someone is not playing the way they want them too or not doing what they want them to do, I will tell them "You can't play fetch with a goldfish".  Meaning a goldfish is not a dog and you cant make it a dog with any amount of arguing or being upset or mad at it, so stop yelling at your brother and play something else or play by yourself.

If I get stuck in horrendous traffic and I am late to an important appointment and I feel my anger rising, I will tell myself "You can't play fetch with a goldfish".  Meaning a goldfish can't fetch and no one knows why this fish was made without this ability, it is what it is and I am already in the traffic jam so I should just turn up my radio and deal.   

If my husband starts to annoy me with his anal need to have the toilet paper facing the correct way, I will whisper softly to myself "You can't play fetch with a goldfish". Meaning the goldfish is perfectly content even when his water is disturbed and just keeps swimming without missing a beat so I will say "yes dear" to him and not let his anal traits disturb my flow and keep my mouth shut about how much I don't care about which way the toilet paper goes to be concerned with even remembering which way YOU like it. 

If my feet hurt wearing my new strappy sandals, I can remind myself "You can't play fetch with a goldfish".    Meaning that if you wanted a pet that played catch, you should have gotten a dog and if I wanted comfortable shoes, I should have bought them.

See how many possible situations you can use this statement?  It will now replace my old standby "these pretzels are making me thirsty" from a Seinfeld episode.  Although I can see using that one when I am really really mad --- like when I lock my keys in my car or something.

Anyway - just some insight to how my brain is working on this Sunday morning.  Afterall, you can't play fetch with a goldfish.  (meaning: the goldfish has no control over someone throwing the ball in his calm water and making all sorts of ripples and currents as I have no control over the way my brain takes in and processes information, I just keep swimming.)

Photos from our Summer Vacation so far:

The kids discover that you really can have fun with almost anything including a dog cage.

Child labor -- Margaret, Stephen and Corrina (insert cupids arrows, floating hearts and angels on clouds playing violins), helping me inventory my felt.  I did pay them with new Nerf Guns and refill darts.

Right before Summer Vacation started, Daniel attended the annual "My and my Shadow" cub scout overnight camp out.  Although heavy rains and winds made the boy and his shadow come home about 10 pm instead of sleeping in the elements.

The Nerf Wars that took place after the purchase of the Nerf guns by me.  Nice to see those old science projects get some additional use.  The might become signs for the lemonade stand that the boys have been helping the neighbor boys with. 

The Pink Princess is pretty darn tough and bold during the Nerf War, choosing to forgo a shield and stand out in the open and shoot.

oh my, how did this slip in?  Oh well, you cant play fetch with a goldfish. (for bonus points -  figure out how I intend that in this context)

being lady like, cute tinies, recorder concerts and ADD

Margaret had an appointment with her geneticist, who is notoriously late all the time.  So much so that we are told that we don't have to be on time for our appointment.  We waited almost TWO hours in the doctors office for him to arrive.  Lots of time for mischief to happen in a room that had only a table and two chairs and a window and a door.

I like to dress Margaret in clothes that very easily come off and go back on when we go to the doctor and by easily, I mean that I am able to dress and undress her while she is screaming and trying to get away from me.  Today she had on a denim shirt dress that closed by snaps in the front.  This dress became her obsession, especially after she saw how easy it was to open and close snaps.  After a while she grew tired of snapping and decided that she like wearing the dress open.  I am one to pick my battles so I let her wait out the doctor with her dress open.

I did mention that she would have to close her dress when we left and she of course asked 'why'.  I told her that she cant walk around with her dress open and I got another 'why'.  I told her that everyone would see her underwear and her 'boobies' (as she calls them) and I got another 'why'.  I said that boobies are private and you can't just show them to everyone and she said 'why'.  After a few more reasons and a few more 'whys' I said "it is not very lady like" and she said 'well, I like it." 

And I decided that I couldn't argue with that logic and decided to drop the subject. Then after we finally got to see the doctor and she worked herself into hysterics, I just dressed her and snapped her dress and she didn't even notice.

Brother Love rocks!  I ordered a shirt and when it came in the mail, Margaret was screaming look what brother love sent me!!!!!!!!!!!'  She has taken ownership of the shirt and posed for photos saying brother love rocks OWWWW!'

This is the girl during summer 2006 wearing her bikini.  The girl is still so tiny that this bathing suit still fits her -- although it fits her just right now.  She was wearing the top yesterday and saying 'this is my cute tini and it covers my tiny boobies'. 

Daniel had his 3rd grade recorder concert last week.  He has taken this very seriously, practicing all the time and even writing his own music.  BUT he never looses that wacky sense of humor and the need to laugh and make people laugh and it looks like his friend, RJ, is just like him. 

They take every lull in the program to ham it up.  I find it to be simply HIGHlarious but I am sure it wears on the teacher and I am surprised they let them stand together.   They were acting like mimes at the end of the concert - mimes trying to get out of a box.  I was cracking up but I didn't see anyone else enjoying their antics.  Boys are going to be boys - why not enjoy it?

Later on in the day, Daniel had a publishing party.  He took a book writing after school class and at the party they all read their stories (or part of their stories).  Daniel wrote and drew a graphic novel.  The audience laughed at the appropriate parts -- it is always nice when others find your children charming.

Oh and one more thing, I was diagnosed with ADD last week.  I was not shocked AT ALL. 

i was talking first, girls are bossy and potty talk

I was thinking about advice about marriage that I would pass down to my children and at the top of the list was this little tidbit:

Do not expect romance if your wife (or for Margaret  - you)  is the only only who cleans the bathroom. 

No one says 'not tonight honey' quicker than a woman holding a toilet bowl brush and a bottle of Lysol.  If you love your spouse - get someone else to clean the bathroom.  Luckily, I only have one bathroom (I never thought I would say that) but I have FOUR men folk using it.  Ick. 

Yesterday we took the kids out to eat for dinner.  It was more for us than them because on such a beautiful day - who wants to make dinner.  We had a pleasant time - everyone used their manners and used their 'inside' voices while we were inside (imagine that!).  On the way home everyone was all worked up and everyone (everyone meaning all three of my children) wanted to talk at the same time.  I was trying to listen to what everyone was saying but it gets hard.  Then the arguments break out between the boys and now Margaret was chiming in with "I was talking first!" Then we have to have 5 minutes of insanity in the car while they all are yelling "I WAS TALKING FIRST!!!!".

And i want to drive off the road into the lake.  I don't, of course, and just turn the music up a little louder and just laugh and smile and say 'ah ha' after I hear any child say something.  Eventually it gets worked out and we arrive home - sanity still in place.  Well, as close to in place as it ever was.

We are having some beautiful weather here in the Northeast.  Gorgeous blue skies and perfect temperatures.  The grass and trees are so green and their are spots of color here and there.  The kids have been spending much time outside and we all have been getting our lungs filled with wonderful and regenerating fresh air. 

In other big news - Stephen Ian has a little crush going on with a GIRL!  Her name is Corina and she is the cutest thing.  Tall, thin and long dirty blond hair.  Her Mom moved in across the road and we had them and some other friends over for a big campfire and fireworks on Sunday night.  The kids had a blast and after smores were made - left us grownups alone with the fire and some cocktails and we stayed up way too late and had way way too much fun. 

The next day we were invited across the road for a BBQ and the young romance grew as they spent the whole day together. Corina came over later to our house later in the day and she made Stephen help her clean his room and the living room!  They cleaned for two hours and Stephen is forcing Daniel to promise to keep it clean.  So she bossed him around and he liked it and did everything she says.  And he doesn't get mad when you say that she likes him -- he just shrugs.  Awwwwww, young love.

I had a revelation yesterday - girls are bossy and men usually allow themselves to be bossed.  I see how bossy I am with my husband, I see how bossy Margaret is with everyone, I see how Corina bossed Stephen and I recall all the comments over the years from my BIL's about how my sisters boss them. 

I guess it is the intensity of the bossing and the intention of the bossing that makes you a woman working with your natural inclinations or a b*tch.  I think I walk a fine line between the two -- and want to become less of a boss and more of the team. 

Now I am off to see how my husband is doing outside -- he is sealing our deck.  I want to make sure he doesn't miss any spots. wink wink

in the spirit of moving on

I don't want to erase but I don't want to dwell - so I am moving on.

Pictures from Kent Falls.  Supplies from Studio Calico, I joined last month. I haven't had much time to scrapbook as of late or even shop (believe it or not) so I signed up thinking I would get some stuff done because their gallery is very inspiring.

Miss M and her 'big boy' Christopher.

close up

my Daniel.

Listening to Eddie.  ">Evil Giraffes.

The boys.

Closeup -- some of these pages are from a Scrapologie kit from last year.  I had almost a whole years worth of kits that I never used and I brought them all to a weekend retreat plus photos and used them up.  Whatever I knew I would never use I gave away.  I use a lot of stuff and I gave a lot away too.

'Nuff Said.

The story of how Stephen Ian became TT.

First pigtails on the girl.

This movie has opened my eyes a bit more and I am looking at the candidates for president through the knowledge that this movie shared.

And that is all I have for now.  My allergies are kicking my butt and I am going to try to get to bed early tonight.  Not just try but do.

here lies a clever blog post title

I am feeling a little sappy right now.   I just watched "Knocked Up" and even though the movie was very implausible, the end when the baby is born made me cry.  Made me want another baby.  It is physically impossible for me to have another baby and I am not even sure if I would have one if i could have one but that sure got my emotions going. 

Then on the other hand, when the two guys were in Vegas and high on mushrooms was HIGHlarious.  Maybe if the movie would have ended with that scene, I would be crying tears of laughter now.  I know those days of little babies are over until one of my own babies give me grandchildren - you know in like 20 years or so.

Daniel flew up or graduated or moved up to be a Wolf in his cub scout troop this weekend.  The pack had a family picnic at the Squantz Pond, a state park in our town.  It was really a beautiful day and I really felt so much gratitude for where we live.  When we lived in NYC, Stephen Ian had kindergarten recess in the parking lot of his school - no grass, no playground equipment, nothing to keep them busy at all but the big huge lot of concrete.  Now we get to be surrounded by trees and grass and water and my goodness, it is like a painting or movie or something.  More sappy thoughts.

Check out what Daddy has hanging on his leg:

Doesn't Daddy look happy? If you look closely you can see a small bandage - he had surgery on his knee on Monday and he said Margaret was hanging on it.  I don't buy it - he always seems this grouchy. 

Margaret playing with her big brother, Christopher.  He is officially living with us now and I officially have not one moment of privacy or alone time. NOT one.  And it IS getting to me.

My sweet girl giving me a flower.  I get one almost everyday from her.  She loves to take a bleeding heart and give me one.  I just realized something - my boy always gave me 'flowers' when they were little and now Margaret is too. They don't give them to their Dad and I might have thought that a girl would give flowers to her Daddy but I get them.  That makes me feel really loved. (excuse the sap)

Margaret and my sister's dog, Ruby, on Mother's Day.  I embroidered the shirt she has on.  I am so proud of myself -my very first hand embroidered thing EVER.  I love it.

Best close up I could get:

I purchased Sublime Stitching and Doodle Stitching and used a pattern for the SWEET and then hand cut a heart and attached it to some fat quarter fabric that I had forever.  I sewed it onto a inexpensive shirt that I purchased at Target and VIOLA!  Next time I am going to fuse the applique to the shirt first and then add the stitches. 

I went on to purchase this pattern and this pattern and when i get some free time, I will make something with them.  I have been scouring the town thrift store for some clothes that I can 'repurpose'. 

I just had to add this -- for the people who know him.  This crazy guy is my BIL, Buzzy.  I was taking photos of the girls and he had to jump in and ham it up.  One day I will scan in the wedding photos that he sorta 'ruined' by hiking his pants up for the group shots.  HIGHlarious (now that is).

Oh and by the way - I know that Daniel's Cub Scouts group is a DEN not a troop and he didn't FLY up (that is the term when you go from a Brownie to a girl scout.   I am just practicing for when Margaret is in the Girl Scouts.

This photo just popped out at me while looking though my blog folder.  Margaret had RSV and was in the hospital when this photo was taken.  I breaks my heart in a few different ways.  We have been through so much in this marriage - I have always been the positive cheerleader of this union.  So much of what has happened has revolved around this girl and has changed me down to my core.  So much baggage and garbage from my past has fallen away and left me lighter and happier. 

It doesn't seem to be that way for him.  I guess it is different for men -- they want to fix things and she cant be fixed.  I wouldn't even ask for her to be fixed -- I would ask for her to be happy and healthy and successful and prosperous in life. He would fix her and take away what he sees as wrong and I see nothing WRONG.  I see her needs as something that has to be addressed and taken care of and we have to do things to improve her quality of life and her ability to adjust and adapt.  I take the cards I have been dealt and I do the best I can with them - he wants to throw his hand in and ask for new cards. 

He sees in his mind a chart of a successful man and goes through it checking off the things he has accomplished and is not happy for these things or not happy for very long.  The only thing he seems to be able to concentrate on are the things that he hasn't accomplished and goals that he thinks he should have met by now.  I see the things we do have and I feel such gratitude for them. I cannot think of one THING that I need to be a more successful person. Yes, sure, I wish we had at least one more bathroom, but i will never feel like a failure if we do not have it. 

I have my shortcomings and I always feel like I can improve in some areas of my life but I will never feel unhappy now while I am trying to attain these goals.  If I have a bad moment or day and loose my patience with my kids, I do take the time to apologize to them and I do make the effort and usually succeed in doing things differently and better the next time.  I avoid many many arguments by just accepting and not judging and not comparing.  And sometimes by just keeping my mouth shut. 

I feel tired of being the lone cheerleader.  For two days I have been feeling a bit depressed and I can see how me not being cheerful and talkative effects this family.  For two nights at dinner time - no one really spoke.  No one had any conversations to start or comments to make.  We ate in a diner last night -- nothing fancy and the kids were thrilled.  Daniel kept saying 'wow, this is a fancy restaurant diner and three of the kids were very polite to the waitress and ate their dinners and were very good.  I had a nice cup of diner coffee -- something about those white cups -- mmm, yum and when we were walking to the car my husband was complaining about how much it cost. 

I was trying to be positive - well we all like it, we had a nice time, you and Chris both got two things each and drinks, I thought it was yummy and stuff like that.  He commented again about the money and how we should have gone somewhere else.  I had it at that point -- I asked him (kinda shouted really) if he wanted me to throw the food up and give it back?  I think he was shocked.  "I'm just saying" he said, like I was crazy.  I got in the car and slammed my knee into the dashboard because my seat was closer to the steering wheel because he needed the room behind me for his knee. 

I didn't say anything about my knee but tears came right to my eyes, it hurt so bad.  My heart hurts too.  I wish I could perform some magic and make him see how good he has it.  And I am not even including myself in that good -- he needs to see how wonderful his life really is and I know I cant make him see. 

Oh boy - I didn't see this post going this way.  There is no resolution to this issue -- just a work in progress I guess.  I do remember how much I was in love with him when we met - crazy in love. It was love at second sight.  I never thought that we would be here now.  Together but separate.  A union but not a team. 

This movie tonight brought out so much of this -- I should have listened to my ipod instead!  I never thought a comedy movie would make me look at my life with so much drama.

added 5/19/08

upon further reflection:

I realized that my relationship with my husband has always been one of pessimist and optimist.  I loved him so much and wanted to make up for all the hurt he has had in his life.  I showered him with love and attention and he did the same for me.  We were awesome together but now our lives are more than just us two.  The biggest change in our relationship besides our children is me. 

Now it is time to practice what I preach and be proactive and work towards a solution - whatever that may be.

If you looked up the word 'interruption' in the dictionary . . .

You would see a diorama of my life.  My Mom came up to visit today and we had a few places we wanted to go to and Stephen (who is home 'sick' with bad allergies) and Margaret (who had 'a home day' today) were along for the ride.  My Mom and I talk about everything and we haven't had the chance to get together in about two weeks and we had lots to catch up on.  I felt like every time I started a sentence or had a thought, one and sometimes both of my beautiful offspring would interrupt my flow with some comment, request, demand (in Margaret's case) or questions. 

ARG!  FRUSTRATING!

All in all -- we did have a fabulous day.  We ate lunch at the Desert Moon Cafe, stopped at the pet store (where Margaret screeched at every amphibian's habitat), went the fabric store and then checked out a modular home.  The weather is just gorgeous here and it is hard not to be cheerful when you are surrounded by beautiful blue skies and warm breezy temps.

Lots of stuff is going on around here -- a couple of long distance doctor appointments last week, my husband is getting presurgery testing for his knee surgery next week, a started a sewing class, I started doing hand embroidery, I attended a NSD crop and the big big thing is my 240 pound 6 foot 4 stepson moved back home with us.  Him, his dog and ALL his belongings. 

Him, his dog and ALL of his belongings in our tiny 1400 square foot, one bathroom house.  He is currently sleeping on a captains bed in the boys room.  He has to sleep in the fetal position to even fit on the bed!  I am actually glad he is here -- even with the inconvenience with the whole no privacy ONE BATHROOM thing. 

Tonight we had a estimate and presentation from a salesman from the Owens Corning Basement Finishing System  and I think we might go ahead with this system. For now we would throw (not literally) Christopher down there and then eventually I would move my craft/etsy/scrapbooking stuff down there and the kids would have play room/video game room.  This would clear out the family room and we would make it into a proper mudroom SLASH quiet room for doing homework.   We would get 500 square feet of living space down there if we did it.  It is not cheap but not very expensive but I really like how it looked in person.  If we do it, we will become a showcase house and would allow our room to be visited by potential customers.  I hope it all works out and we go ahead with this.  By July we could be stretching ourselves across this new space!!!!!

I don't have any photos to share -- I need to get my camera out I guess but I do have my favorite LOLZ cats to share from ICANHAZCHEEZBURGER.  I get the best chuckles from this site. 

For the Lord of the Rings fans.   

anyhoo -- no cool way to end this post.  off to dream about 500 SQUARE FEET OF ADDITIONAL LIVING SPACE.  I might just move down there myself and just come upstairs to visit.

Update in Photos

Christopher and his dog are visiting for a bit.   

Today we went to Kent Falls, CT. 

This sweet man held my bag which was full of water bottles among other necessities:

This girl would not kiss her Daddy unless he had 'no scratchies".  He was already for the smooch but she had to check to be sure that she would not be scratched by his face.

This crew is ready to hike to the top of the falls.

This young man didn't want to hike to the top and stayed behind with the Momma. So he became my victim for photos.   

  After the hike -- we all met at where 1the water fall ended and splashed around for a bit and then walked to where the car was parked.  There was picnic table near the edge of the river there and we had some fruit and water and the kids threw rocks into the water for a while.

    She also had some chips with her watermelon. She requested pony tails today but they are a bit higher than usual.  I am so in love with how cute they are nonetheless.

This amazingly cute child is my sweet Daniel.  He told me that this was a great day and he had never been to anyplace as cool as the falls.

The Grandfather, the son and the granddaughter (the dog).  Christopher and his baby might be staying with us for a long while.  We will have to wait and see on that one.  Christopher has to go back to Virginia and close up his apartment and also put some closure on his long time but over relationship with his girl M.  He said he wants to be with his family but he and his girl are on and off as often as she calls him on his I-phone.    We will have to see on this one. 

What a great day we had.  I am amazed constantly at how close we are to such amazing nature.  I am so in love with my crazy family.  We ended the day with dinner, a campfire and sparklers and then a family movie.  We are really out there as family's go but I am so in love with us as a family.  We just work and click and belong together.  Life is just so good.

Lyme

And I am not talking about the refreshing citrus kind. Lyme as in Lyme, CT where Lyme disease was born.  Born in the tiny body of a tiny deer tick and has spread from that location to parts far and wide.  The wonderful disease that comes to the forefront of my mind after the joy of the warm weather hits and I realize that now I have to do tick checks everyday after the kids have been out.

This morning is was Margaret who had a tick in her hair and it was all in -- with just the little feets and butt sticking out.  We had to hold her down and yank it out and it came out in two pieces but we got it all.  I do not think it was a deer tick because it was too large but we have to be on the look out for the bullseye rash nonetheless. 

I wonder every year at this time, if I would have realized that this would be part of my life every Spring, would have that been the deal breaker on moving to CT?  Hmmm, I am still not sure of my answer on that.  My husband had Lyme disease a few years ago and was out of work for 4 months or so.  Luckily it was caught in time and it responded to the antibiotics and he has not other lingering symptoms.

He always asks me to check him after he mows the lawn and I noticed a big bullseye rash across his side of his torso and I told him that I think he has Lyme.  He told me 'Oh no, that is just a heat rash."  I insisted that he needed to get it checked out and he insisted that he didn't.  We had a bit of a heated argument about it and I told him that the pediatrician has always told me to be on the look out for the rash if I know the kids got bit.  He insisted he didn't have it and went on about his day.

NOT until I looked it up on line and showed him the rash did he start to believe me.  He asked me to print out the web page I was showing him and he took his copies and went away to read it.  About an hour later he came back and was holding his head, saying "I don't feel so good, I think I have a fever" and by the next day he was too sick to even go to the doctor alone, I had to go and fill out all his papers for him.  Hmmm, seems kinda convenient that he had no symptoms or didn't even believe when I said it only when he looked at the rash on line.  He was totally F-I-N-E fine until he read the symptoms and THEN HE HAD them all. coughbullshitcough

I also forgot about my seasonal allergies.  I am suffering with a big sinus headache, scratchy throat and itchy eyes.  That would NOT be a deal breaker for moving here though because I had all of these symptoms even when I lived in the city.

So the moral of this post is too check in and say HEY I am alive and I am STILL loving the Spring temps and blooming world around me but from behind the screen in my house and from my computer desk.

The Enchantress

My darling Margaret just melts me. She is my buddy, my shadow, my helper, my girl and my everything.  When I sit in the recliner, she makes her home between my legs.  When I lay on the couch, she makes her home behind my knees (as Daniel calls the HOLE). When I sit on the bed and put on my makeup, she sits right next to me and puts on hers too.  When I go in the basement, outside, to the store, to the PO, etc . . ., she wants to come with. '

I love sitting at the breakfast table and she comes and sits right next to me and we talk and we say 'cheers' and click glasses and she shares whatever I am eating or asks me to 'help' her with her food and we sing songs or read books.  I love this time - just me and her.

Yesterday we were watching the movie 'Enchanted' and during the scene when Amy Adams and McDreamy dance at the ball, Margaret told me that we were going to dance.  "I am going to put my hand here and we put our other hands here and we spin" is what she told me.  She want to put her hand on my shoulder and us hold out other arms out like the couple in the movie.

So I do and we do.  We waltz around the living room and I feel like my heart is going to burst.  She is looking at me with such an adoring look and I almost felt like weeping from the sheer joy I am feeling at this moment.  We try to copy the moves we see on the big screen adding twirls and dips and big sweeping steps around the living room.  Then the song is over and we have to get ready to take M to school and the day continues on.

Later on I was reliving this moment in my mind and trying to recall her face and they way she was looking at me.  There was so many emotions in her face -- love, joy, excitement, adoration, pride, contentment and maybe a hint of entitlement - as in I am so loved and adored in this family, of course someone wants to hold me and dance with me.  I feel like my heart reflected all those emotions right back to her.  I felt so loved and adored and wanted and needed and enjoyed in those few minutes while we danced.  I don't ever want to forget it.

As Daniel would say "Good times, Good times."